Roald Kvam 2023 C.R.I.B. for mutual purpose when stakes are high. 1) C ommit to seek mutual purpose You have to agree to agree in crucial conversations where stakes are high. Stop using silence or violence to get others to your view. Commit to staying in conversation until you invest in a solution you can…

Roald Kvam 2023 Both silence and violence may be signs that people are feeling unsafe during crucial conversations. Let’s look at VIOLENCE Meaning: Convincing, controlling, or compelling others to your viewpoint. The 3 most common forms of violence are:1) Controlling2) Labelling3) Attacking CONTROLLINGCoercing others to your way of thinking. E.g. Cutting others off, overstating your…

Roald Kvam 2023 Don’t let safety problems lead you astray during crucial conversation where stakes are high. Others may attack you when their safety is at risk. Both silence and violence may be signs that people are feeling unsafe. Let’s take a look at SILENCE Meaning: Purposefully withholding information from the dialogue. The 3 most…

To notice when safety is at risk in crucial conversations, learn to look for CONTENT (what) and CONDITIONS (why) of the conversation. The sooner you notice conditions have changed, the sooner you can change it. It takes knowledge and practice to know what to look for, and then actually see it. What do you look…

Roald Kvam 2023 What is “the fool’s choice”? It is when we feel we face only two options, often both bad. Or, an “either/or”-thinking. To avoid “the fool’s choice” we need to turn “either/or”-thinking into “and”-options. How? (1) Clarify what you really want. E.g. What I want is for my coworker to be more reliable.…

Roald Kvam 2023 You can move from anger to gratitude when confronted during a conversation where stakes are high. Here are three steps to refocusing your brain: (1) As you begin the discussion, start by examining your motives. Ask yourself what you really want. (2) As the conversation moves forward, pay attention to what’s happening…

Roald Kvam 2023 — — —«The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it had taken place.» (George Bernard Shaw)— — — A Crucial Conversation is a discussion between two or more people where stakes are high, options are vary, emotions run strong, and outcome greatly impacts their lives. There are three ways…

Roald Kvam 2023 Most of the things worth doing doesn’t have to be done perfect the 1st time you try to. As humans, leaders and co-workers, we do well to recognize a good effort. Most of what we do needs some time and a few yards as imperfect before it reaches the finish line as…

Roald Kvam 2023 It’s easy to say. It is not easy to do. It is still tempting to think that the number of hours you work equal success – the more you work, the more success you get…. Yes, hard work is useful for many things, and action changes things. I agree. But be proactive:…

Roald Kvam 2023 If something is bothering you and you don’t do something about it, then it does something within you. And you prison your feelings. It can backfire on you. If something is bothering you and you do something about it, the process itself often – not always – makes the problem go away.…