DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

In a world increasingly shaped by complexity, rapid change, and human interaction, technical skill alone is no longer sufficient. What distinguishes truly effective individuals—whether in leadership, teamwork, or everyday life—is emotional intelligence (EQ) and self-awareness. These intertwined capabilities form the bedrock of effective communication, sound decision-making, resilience under pressure, and authentic leadership.

Let’s explore the nature of emotional intelligence, the role of self-awareness within it, and how developing both can transform not only your professional impact but also your personal well-being.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Coined and popularized by psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, and to recognize, understand, and influence the emotions of others.

EQ comprises five core components:

1. Self-awareness – Recognizing one’s own emotions, triggers, and patterns.
2. Self-regulation – Managing emotions in healthy, constructive ways.
3. Motivation – Channeling emotions toward achieving goals and maintaining optimism.
4. Empathy – Sensing and understanding the emotions of others.
5. Social skills – Managing relationships, resolving conflict, and inspiring collaboration.

Among these, self-awareness is the gateway: without it, the other dimensions are difficult to access or apply consistently.

The power of Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to tune into your own feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in the moment—and to understand how they affect you and those around you. It’s more than just introspection; it’s about cultivating a clear and accurate understanding of yourself as you really are, not as you wish to be.

People with high self-awareness:

• Recognize their emotional patterns (e.g., anger, anxiety, enthusiasm).
• Understand their strengths and weaknesses without defensiveness.
• Know what values and beliefs drive them.
• Anticipate how they might react under stress—and adjust accordingly.
• Accept feedback without becoming reactive or overly self-critical.

In short, self-awareness creates the foundation for emotional maturity and self-mastery.

Why EQ and Self-Awareness matter in everyday life

1. Effective Communication
   Clear and empathetic communication depends on understanding both your own emotional state and the emotional state of others. When we are unaware of how we come across—whether too passive or too aggressive—we can create misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.
2. Better Decision-Making
   Emotions are data. They tell us what matters, where we feel threatened, and what gives us energy. Self-aware individuals can separate impulse from insight, allowing for more balanced and principled decisions.
3. Conflict Resolution
   When you’re aware of your own triggers and emotional patterns, you can enter conflict with curiosity rather than defensiveness. You listen better. You seek solutions instead of escalation.
4. Leadership and Influence
   Leaders with high EQ are better at building trust, creating psychological safety, and motivating teams. They model emotional regulation and openness—qualities that foster loyalty and performance.
5. Resilience and Mental Health
   EQ helps us respond to adversity rather than react impulsively. By acknowledging and naming our emotions, we reduce their intensity and gain the freedom to choose how to move forward.

Cultivating Self-Awareness and EQ: Practical tools

Emotional intelligence is not fixed. Like any skill, it can be learned and strengthened with intention and practice. Here are some strategies to begin:

1. Daily check-ins
   Pause regularly to ask: What am I feeling? Why? How is this affecting my behavior right now? This micro-awareness breaks automatic patterns.
2. Journaling
   Writing about your emotions and reactions at the end of the day creates a reflective practice. Over time, it reveals themes and blind spots.
3. Seek feedback
   Ask trusted peers or mentors how you show up in different settings. You may discover that your intent and your impact are not always aligned.
4. Practice active listening
   In conversations, listen not just to the words but also the emotions behind them. Try to understand the perspective before responding.
5. Use “Name it to tame it”
   When emotions are intense, simply naming them (“I feel overwhelmed” or “I’m frustrated”) reduces their grip and creates space to respond thoughtfully.
6. Mindfulness and breathing
   These practices help regulate your nervous system and build the muscle of awareness—of both mind and body—in the present moment.

EQ in action: A leadership snapshot

Consider a team leader navigating a high-pressure project deadline. A self-aware and emotionally intelligent leader will:

• Notice rising stress and take a pause to breathe rather than snapping at a colleague.
• Recognize that a team member’s disengagement may stem from fear or burnout—not laziness.
• Hold a short team check-in to acknowledge challenges and re-align with shared goals.
• Express appreciation to individuals in ways that resonate with each personality.
• Reflect afterward on what worked and what could be improved.

In this way, emotional intelligence turns moments of tension into opportunities for connection and clarity.

The Long-term benefits

Developing EQ and self-awareness is not just about managing crises—it’s about creating a more authentic and meaningful life. Over time, these capabilities lead to:

• Stronger relationships, both personal and professional.
• Increased confidence and presence.
• Greater clarity in decision-making and purpose.
• Enhanced influence and leadership impact.
• A deeper sense of fulfillment and alignment.

The inner advantage

In a world that often emphasizes technical competence and external results, emotional intelligence and self-awareness offer a quieter but far more enduring advantage: the ability to lead yourself. And from that place of grounded presence, to lead others.

Whether you’re a rising professional, a seasoned leader, or simply a person seeking to grow, investing in your EQ is one of the most transformative things you can do. Not only will it help you navigate the complexity of others—it will help you come home to yourself.

When you understand your inner world, you unlock your greatest source of clarity, courage, and connection.