Don’t let safety problems lead you astray during crucial conversation where stakes are high. Others may attack you when their safety is at risk. Both silence and violence may be signs that people are feeling unsafe. Let’s take a look at
SILENCE
Meaning: Purposefully withholding information from the dialogue.
The 3 most common forms of silence are:
1) Masking
2) Avoiding
3) Withdrawing
MASKING
Understating or selectively showing true opinions. E.g. sarcasm, sugar coating, couching.
Example:
«I think your idea is… Brilliant. Yeah, that’s it. I just worry that others won’t catch the subtle nuances. Some ideas come before their time so expect some… Minor resistance» = Your idea is insane and people will fight it…
«Oh yeah, that’ll work like a charm. Offer people a discount and they’ll sign up just to save 5 dollars. Where do you come up with this stuff?» = What a dumb idea…
AVOIDING
Steering completely away from sensitive subjects. E.g. Changing the subject, shifting the focus to others.
Examples:
«How was your blog post? Well, you know, I thought it was proactive.» = What happened? Did you not do any editing?
«Speaking of ideas for cost cutting, what if we bought less office supplies? Or took people to lunch less?» = If i offer trivial suggestions, maybe we can avoid sensitive things like staff inefficiency…
WITHDRAWING
Pulling out of a conversation altogether. E.g. Exiting the conversation, exiting the room.
Examples:
«Excuse me, I’ve gotta take this call.» = I don’t want to be in this useless meeting…
«Sorry, I’m not going to have this discussion again. I’m not sure our relationship can handle it.» *Exit* = We can’t talk about even the simplest topics without arguing…
— — —
If you want to learn more about Crucial Conversations and tools for talking when stakes are high, feel free to reach out to http://www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching.
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
Legg igjen en kommentar