DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

What is “the fool’s choice”?

It is when we feel we face only two options, often both bad. Or, an “either/or”-thinking.

To avoid “the fool’s choice” we need to turn “either/or”-thinking into “and”-options.

How?

(1) Clarify what you really want.

E.g. What I want is for my coworker to be more reliable. I’m tired of being let down by them when they make commitments that I depent on.

(2) Clarify what you really don’t want.

Think about what you’re afraid of will happen if you back away from your current strategy of trying to win or stay safe. What bad thing will happen?

E.g. To have useless and heated conversation that creates bad feelings and doesn’t lead to change.

(3) Present your brain with a more complex problem.

Combine the two into an «and»-question.

E.g. How can I have a candid convo about (1) and avoid (2)?

If you want to learn more about Crucial Conversations and tools for talking when stakes are high, feel free to reach out to http://www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching.