DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

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«The single greatest problem in communication is the illusion that it had taken place.» (George Bernard Shaw)
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A Crucial Conversation is a discussion between two or more people where stakes are high, options are vary, emotions run strong, and outcome greatly impacts their lives.

There are three ways of handling Crucial Conversations:

1) Avoid them.
2) Face them and handle them poorly.
3) Face them and handle them well.

Why Crucial Conversations go poorly:

Biology
High adrenaline causes a fight or flight response.

Surprise
They arise without warning.

Confusion
They often require us to improvise without time to rehearse.

Self-defeating behavior
We do or say something that makes it worse.

If you want to master Crucial Conversations you need to master «The Power of Dialogue».

Dialogue is the free flow of meaning between two people; a «pool of shared meaning» – thoughts, feelings and experiences – needs to be filled up between those two.

Make it Safe!

Successful dialogue results when everyone feels safe to add their meaning to the shared pool of meaning.

It may be surprising, but to add our meaning to the conversation we need to start with heart and work on ME 1st… WE are 2nd.

The problem in dialogue is not that behavior degenerates, but that the assumed motives do.

So work on ME 1st:

1) Know what you want.
2) Establish the right motives.
3) Don’t get distracted by assumed motives.
4) Don’t make fool’s choices that reduce your honesty.

If you want to learn more about Crucial Conversations and tools for talking when stakes are high, feel free to reach out to http://www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching.

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«Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.» (Martin Luther King JR)
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If you want to learn more about Crucial Conversations and tools for talking when stakes are high, feel free to reach out to http://www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching.