DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

C.R.I.B. for mutual purpose when stakes are high.

1) C ommit to seek mutual purpose

You have to agree to agree in crucial conversations where stakes are high. Stop using silence or violence to get others to your view. Commit to staying in conversation until you invest in a solution you can both share.

Step back from conversation and say: “It seems like we’re both trying to force our views on each other. I commit to staying in the conversation until we have a solution that satisfies both of us.”

Then, watch whether safety takes a turn for the better.

2) R ecognize the purpose behind the strategy

Don’t confuse what you’re asking for with what you want. What you’re asking for is the strategy to what you want.

We confuse WANTS or PURPOSE with STRATEGIES.

Focus on real purposes…

Sometimes you find out your genuine wants and goals can’t be served without sacrificing the other purpose. Then you have to…

3) I nvent a mutual purpose

Move to more encompassing goals. An objective that’s more meaningful or rewarding than those on either side of the conversation.

4) B rainstorm new strategies

If you’re not willing to give creativity a try, it will be impossible for you to come up with a mutual outcome.

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If you want to learn more about Crucial Conversations and tools for talking when stakes are high, feel free to reach out to http://www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching.