DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

If we’re angry or frustrated at someone and we go to them with our temper flaring, we’re sure to have a fine time unloading our feelings toward them.

But what about the other person?

Will our belligerent tones and hostility make it easy for them to agree with us?

If we approach the other person with our fists doubled, this will only lead the other person to double his fists twice as fast.

If instead we come to him and say, “Why don’t we sit down and talk this through so we can understand why we disagree,” we’re likely to find that we’re actually not so far apart after all, that the points on which we differ are few and the ones on which we agree are many.

When a person feels negatively about us, we can’t win him to our way of thinking with all the logic in the world. We can’t force someone to agree with us, but we can lead them in that direction if we are gentle and friendly with them.

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«A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall.» (Abraham Lincoln)
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Business executives have learned that it pays to be friendly to strikers, that they are able to shift the strikers’ perspectives and win their loyalty by addressing their needs as friends and peers, instead of suppressing their voices and acting as dominants.

Let’s NIKE it: Just Do It!

When you find yourself about to scold your children, act as a domineering boss, or nag your husband or wife, try softening your approach by opening with a friendly conversation and keeping a calm tone.

Ask how your husband’s work presentation went, or ask your employee for her thoughts on your last team meeting. Have at least five minutes of pleasant conversation before you bring up the issue at hand.

Believe me: It will make a difference.

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Source & Inspiration: «How to Win Friends & Influence People» (Dale Carnegie, Andrew MacMillan, et al.)