DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

This one I like a lot:

If we seek to challenge people’s ways without inflicting negative feelings we should be the 1st one to admit that we are also susceptible to mistakes.

It is much easier to listen to a description of our own faults when the person criticizing begins by humbly saying that he is also far from perfect.

Carnegie gives an example of hiring his niece, Josephine, to be his secretary:

Josephine made many mistakes on the job, and though Carnegie was tempted to criticize her for her flaws, he took a step back and realized that he is twice as old as Josephine and has ten thousand times her business experience. How could he possibly expect her to have his same viewpoint and judgment? He realized that Josephine was performing better than he had been at her age.

When he approached Josephine, he told her that she had made a mistake but goodness knows it was no worse than many that he himself had made. He noted that she was not born with judgment, that it comes only with experience, and that he had done many stupid things himself. “But don’t you think it would have been wiser if you had done so and so?” he concluded.

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«Admitting one’s own mistakes – even when one hasn’t corrected them – can help convince somebody to change his behavior.» (Dale Carnegie)
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Let’s NIKE it: Just Do It!

When you’re about to criticize someone, ask yourself:

«What was I like when I was that age?»

“What was I thinking when I was at their level of experience?”

Your empathy wheels will start turning, and you’ll realize that you have an opportunity to be a great mentor to this person.

Try to be a positive influence.

Think of yourself as your mentor instead off their boss, their friends instead of their parent.

And become a Master in the Art of Transparency.

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Source & Inspiration: «How to Win Friends & Influence People» (Dale Carnegie, Andrew MacMillan, et al.)