DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

Most people who try to get others to agree with their perspective do too much of the talking.

Instead, let the other people talk themselves out. They know their problems better than we do. Let’s ask them questions and let them tell us a few things.

We are often tempted to interrupt someone when we disagree with them. But we shouldn’t interrupt – it’s very dangerous. They won’t pay attention to our thoughts while they still have a number of their own to express. We must listen patiently and with an open mind, and be sincere in encouraging them to share their ideas fully.

This principle helps in both business and family situations.

Carnegie tells a story of a woman who couldn’t get her daughter to do her chores. Instead of yelling at her for the hundredth time, the mother one day simply asked her daughter sadly:

“Why?”

Her daughter let loose the thoughts and feelings she had been bottling up – her mother never listened to her and always interrupted her with more orders.

The mother realized all she had been doing was talking, not listening. From then on, she let her daughter do all the talking she wanted and their relationship improved significantly.

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«If you want enemies, excel your friends; but if you want friends, let your friends excel you.» (La Rochefoucauld)
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Let’s NIKE it: Just Do It!

Fight the urge to talk about yourself by learning to be comfortable with short silences in conversation. We’re often tempted to jump in and talk about ourselves when the other person stops talking, but if we stay quiet and wait for them to keep talking, chances are they will have more to say.

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Source & Inspiration: «How to Win Friends & Influence People» (Dale Carnegie, Andrew MacMillan, et al.)