DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

To keep a disagreement from becoming an argument, we can:

1. Welcome the disagreement
If the other person is raising a point we haven’t considered, we can be thankful it’s brought to our attention. It may save us from making a mistake.

2. Distrust our first instinctive impression
Our natural reaction to a disagreeable situation is to become defensive. We should keep calm and watch out for how we first react.

3. Control our temper
Only negative outcomes result from a bad temper.

4. Listen 1st
We can give our opponents a chance to talk without interrupting, and let them finish without resisting, defending, or debating.

5. Look for areas of agreement
Surface those first.

6. Be honest
Look for areas where we can admit error and apologize for our mistakes. This helps reduce defensiveness.

7. Promise to think over our opponents’ ideas and study them carefully
And NIKE it: Just Do It! Furthermore: Thank our opponents sincerely for their interest. If they’re taking the time to argue with us, they’re interested in the same things we are.

8. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem
In the meantime, ask ourselves honestly if our opponents might be right, or partly right.

Next time you find yourself in a disagreement with someone, don’t respond with criticism or a negative email.

Instead, sleep on it.

You’d be surprised how much perspective you can gain by giving yourself a bit of time to think the situation over…

____________________

Source & Inspiration: «How to Win Friends & Influence People» (Dale Carnegie, Andrew MacMillan, et al.)