DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Roald Kvam 2023

In short? Avoid it…

I am tempted to argue with others, especially when I am convinced that I am right about something.

But even if I am right, what does arguing about it yield? Why prove someone else wrong? Is that going to make the person like me? Why not just let him save face, if I have nothing to gain from it but “feeling” superior?

Not to mention, nine times out of 10, arguing just results in the other person even more firmly convinced that he is right.

According to Carnegie, it’s impossible to win an argument. I say it makes sense: If we lose the argument, we lose; if we win the argument, we have made the other person feel inferior, hurt his pride, and made him resent us. In other words, we still lose.

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«There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it.» (Dale Carnegie)
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What if, instead of arguing with someone, we admit their importance through appreciation? This can expand the other person’s ego so he can then become sympathetic and kind – and even visit the case from our point of view.

This creates a path to mutual respect, mutual purpose and mutual meaning – and a better decision in the end.

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Source & Inspiration: «How to Win Friends & Influence People» (Dale Carnegie, Andrew MacMillan, et al.)