DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

The experience of feeling «stuck» is a common obstacle in both professional and personal development. Often, this state of inertia stems not from an absence of motivation, but from ambiguity regarding the desired outcome or paralysis driven by fear of the complexity involved. To facilitate a breakthrough, a structured approach centered on specific, probing questions can effectively dismantle these mental barriers.

The following framework, adapted from established coaching methodologies, organizes the process of getting unstuck into three logical phases: 1. Clarity on outcomes, 2. Identifying resources, and 3. Building momentum.

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1. Defining the destination: Clarity on outcomes

Before any meaningful action can be taken, the destination must be explicitly defined. Ambiguous goals inherently yield ambiguous results, leaving the individual perpetually adrift. This initial phase focuses on forcing precision and creating a vivid, measurable picture of success.

• Establishing the true desire: The foundational question bypasses surface-level issues to capture the ultimate objective: «Fundamentally, if it all went well, what do you really want here?» This prompts reflection on core motivations.
• Visualizing the ideal outcome: To move from abstract desire to concrete planning, the ideal state must be visualized. «What specific outcomes are you looking for? What would be your ideal outcome?» forces the individual to articulate the tangible benefits of success.
• Setting the success metric: The definition of «unstuck» must be personalized and observable. «How would you know you’re unstuck? What will be different? What observable changes would we see?» By defining the specific changes that will confirm progress, the goal becomes measurable, moving it from a feeling to a functional reality.

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2. Resource identification: Auditing options

Once the desired outcome is clear, the focus shifts to generating viable pathways to reach it. This phase encourages creative thinking and prevents premature dismissal of solutions due to perceived limitations. The objective is to move beyond obvious or fear-based constraints.

• Harnessing internal expertise (The Ideal Self): A common trap is seeking external advice when internal knowledge exists. This technique empowers the individual by framing them as the expert. Questions like «If you were at your best, what would you do right now?» or «What advice would your best friend give to you if they were in your situation?» utilize role-playing to bypass self-doubt and access an authoritative perspective.
• Removing hypothetical constraints: Limitations such as time and money are often the first obstacles cited, prematurely killing viable ideas. Asking «What if money were not an issue?» or «If you had as much time as you needed?» is a vital imaginative exercise that helps reveal ideal solutions before practicalities narrow the scope. The ideal solution can then be reverse-engineered to fit real-world constraints.
• Challenging assumptions and blind spots: Effective problem-solving requires identifying cognitive biases and limiting beliefs. «What other angles and options have you not thought of yet?» encourages lateral thinking. Furthermore, questions targeting self-perception, such as «What is the strength you have been avoiding?» can integrate latent abilities into the strategy, providing a «bridge» to greater self-awareness.

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3. Building momentum: Taking accountable action

Clarity and options are necessary, but insufficient. The final phase ensures ideas are translated into accountable, sustainable steps, building the momentum needed to achieve the goal. This focuses on neutralizing fear and preempting self-sabotage.

• The smallest step principle: Large, intimidating steps trigger paralysis. By focusing on the minimal necessary action, commitment resistance is neutralized. «What would be the smallest or easiest first step for you?» makes the barrier to entry negligible and establishes immediate forward motion.
• The commitment contract: To move from intention to execution, commitment must be measurable and time-bound. Questions like «On a scale of 1 to 10, how likely are you to complete each action?» force an honest self-assessment of motivation. This is immediately followed by definitive scheduling: «When and specifically will you do your action/s? (include the day and time).»
• Proactive self-sabotage check: Persistence is secured by planning for inevitable pitfalls. «How do you normally sabotage yourself, and what will you do differently this time?» ensures the individual identifies their typical failure patterns and designs proactive countermeasures. Finally, securing the positive feedback loop through «How will you reward yourself when you complete your actions?» reinforces motivation and sustains long-term engagement.

By systematically working through these three phases, the abstract state of being «stuck» is transformed into a manageable, actionable project defined by clarity, creativity, and commitment.