The true path to fulfillment and success often lies in understanding, celebrating, and leveraging our unique strengths and talents. Imagine a roadmap that guides you not to what you lack, but to the incredible capabilities you already possess.
This is the power of self-coaching through thoughtful questioning. By taking the time to reflect, we can unearth insights that transform our perspective, boost our confidence, and empower us to achieve more.
Drawing inspiration from powerful coaching methodologies, here are 25 questions designed to help you discover the special gifts that make you, you.
Getting started: Making a list you can live with
Before diving deep, it’s helpful to establish a baseline. These initial questions are designed to get your mental gears turning and prompt immediate recognition of your positive attributes. Grab a pen and paper (or open a new document!) and brainstorm freely. Don’t overthink; just write down whatever comes to mind for at least three strengths or responses to each question.
- What are 3 strengths you can think of right away?
- What are you proud of in your life? What do you like about yourself?
- What do you do better than others?
- What do you enjoy or love doing? We usually enjoy what we’re good at.
- What small things do you do that you find extremely satisfying? What strengths could this point to? (e.g., organizing the dishwasher, helping people feel welcome, remembering to buy cards/gifts).
The magic here is in starting broad and then identifying patterns. These initial thoughts are often genuine, unfiltered expressions of where your natural abilities lie.
What others think: How you are seen by others
Sometimes, our greatest strengths are invisible to us because they come so naturally. Others, however, often see our unique contributions clearly. This section encourages you to tap into the invaluable external perspective.
- What do you get complimented on? What could be the strengths that lie underneath?
- What would your partner or favourite person in the world say are your Top 3 strengths?
- What would your family say your strengths are? To go deeper, consider each family member in turn.
- What do your friends admire in you? What do you get asked to help with?
- What would your co-workers say are your strong points?
This exercise can be incredibly insightful. Often, the strengths others see in us are precisely the ones we take for granted, but which are highly valued in our relationships and professional roles.
Times you have been at your best: What lies underneath your success?
Reflecting on past successes isn’t just about reliving glory; it’s about dissecting why those moments felt good and what capabilities you deployed. These questions help you connect positive experiences with underlying strengths.
- What were your favourite subjects or classes at school? Why? What did you bring to the class?
- When have you felt most energized? What were you doing?
- What have you created and brought into the world? Consider from childhood to now, anything you’ve proud of…
- Consider your various achievements (big & small): What personal traits/strengths did you leverage to get the job done?
- What would not be like it is if you had not been part of it? What value did you add? (e.g., volunteer, home or work projects).
By revisiting peak experiences, you’ll uncover recurring themes of competence, passion, and natural talent. These are your strength signatures.
Finding the best in the worst: What gifts are underneath those tough times?
Our strengths often shine brightest when we face adversity. How we navigate challenges, overcome obstacles, and learn from setbacks reveals a resilient core of capabilities.
- Think about when you have stood out and felt uncomfortable: What strengths have you learned to hide?
- Thinking about the worst experiences you have had: What strengths or abilities shine through?
- What challenges have you overcome? What strengths helped you along the way?
- What have you been told “not to be big-headed” about? This could point to talents and strengths.
- When do you do the opposite of everyone else? What strengths could lie underneath this?
This category invites you to reframe difficult experiences, seeing them not as failures, but as crucibles that forged new strengths or highlighted existing ones in new ways.
The unusual and unexplored: Yearnings, admiration & more!
Finally, these questions push beyond direct experience to explore your aspirations, your innate drives, and the things that capture your imagination. These often point to latent or undeveloped talents.
- What do you yearn to do? This suggests possible strengths or talents.
- When have you been criticised for something that is really a strength? (e.g., a parent criticising you for “too much energy/enthusiasm” or a teacher criticising you for your “curiosity”).
- What are your unusual or unexpected talents? What does not ‘fit’ or get used in your life?
- What is the strength you have been avoiding?
- What do you admire most in others? Now, where do you already do this in your life?
These questions are powerful because they reveal not just what you are good at, but what you could be good at, or what you are called to develop further. They shine a light on the unique qualities that make you distinctive.
Your top 10 strengths
After working through these 25 questions, review all your answers. Look for recurring themes, surprising insights, and things that resonate deeply. Then, pull out what you consider to be your Top 10 strengths and write them down on a separate piece of paper. This list is a powerful tool.
Knowing your strengths isn’t just about feeling good; it’s about strategic living. When you understand your unique gifts, you can:
- Focus your energy: Direct your efforts towards areas where you naturally excel.
- Make better decisions: Choose roles, projects, and relationships that align with your core capabilities.
- Build confidence: Operate from a place of competence and self-assurance.
- Find greater fulfillment: Engage in activities that energize you and leverage your innate talents.
So, take the time to explore these questions. Your unique strengths and talents are waiting to be fully discovered and unleashed!
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
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