DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

It’s a confronting thought: Most of your problems have the same person at the center of them — you.
But before you throw your coffee at me, let’s be clear: this isn’t about blame.
It’s about ownership.

When something in your life keeps going wrong — a strained relationship, stalled career, poor health, or constant stress — it’s tempting to look outward for a culprit:

• My boss doesn’t appreciate me.
• My partner doesn’t listen.
• The system is unfair.
• Life is just hard right now.

And while some of those things might be true, staying in that mindset leaves you powerless.
Because if the problem is always “out there,” then the solution is also “out there.” And you can’t control “out there.”

The hidden common denominator

If you look closely, you’ll find one constant in every problem you face: you.
Your decisions.
Your habits.
Your mindset.
Your response to what happens.

This doesn’t mean you’re to blame for everything bad that happens.
But it does mean you have a hand — directly or indirectly — in shaping how problems develop and how they get resolved.

It’s not that life happens to you.
It happens through you.

Why this is good news

If you’re part of the cause, you’re also part of the solution.
That’s powerful!
Because it means you can change your role in the situation and, in doing so, change the outcome.

When you take ownership:

• You stop waiting for someone else to change.
• You stop rehearsing excuses and start looking for action steps.
• You stop thinking like a victim and start thinking like a strategist.

The truth is, most of what keeps us stuck isn’t the size of the problem — it’s the story we tell ourselves about it.

3 steps to move from cause to solution

1. Own your part without shame
Ask yourself: How have I contributed to this?
Not to beat yourself up — but to identify the levers you can actually move.

2. Focus on what you can control
You can’t control the economy, your boss’s personality, or the weather.
But you can control your attitude, your preparation, your communication, and your consistency.

3. Take the first small step
Big problems rarely require one big fix. They require many small, consistent actions. Start with one thing you can do today.

The mindset shift

When you believe the solution starts with you, problems become less threatening.
They’re no longer immovable walls — they’re puzzles you can work on.
And with each solved problem, your confidence grows.

You realize something important:
You’re not just surviving life.
You’re shaping it.

Think about the biggest challenge you’re facing right now…
What’s 1 thing you can take responsibility for in it — and 1 action you can take today to move toward a solution?