In today’s fast-paced world—where meetings are back-to-back, inboxes overflow, and conversations move at the speed of thought—silence often feels awkward. We rush to fill it. We fidget. We change the subject. We assume that silence means something has gone wrong.
But what if we’re wrong about silence?
What if silence isn’t empty, but full?
What if it’s not a void to be filled—but a space to be honored?
Because the truth is: Silence isn’t awkward. It’s spacious.
We’ve been taught to fear silence
From an early age, many of us internalize the message that silence is uncomfortable or unproductive. Think of the phrases:
- “Don’t just sit there—say something.”
- “That was an awkward pause.”
- “Let’s move on…”
In meetings, silence is often interpreted as lack of engagement. In conversations, it’s read as disapproval. In leadership, it’s mistaken for uncertainty.
But this bias overlooks one of the most powerful human dynamics:
Silence creates space—for thought, for feeling, for connection.
It’s not a flaw in communication. It’s part of communication.
The power of a pause
Think of the most meaningful conversations you’ve had. Chances are, they included moments of silence:
- A pause to reflect after a vulnerable story
- A quiet beat before a difficult truth was shared
- A breath before offering support or apology
These pauses weren’t awkward—they were sacred.
In music, the rests are what make the rhythm. In speech, the silence gives weight to the words. And in relationships, presence often speaks loudest in quiet moments.
Silence in leadership
In leadership, silence is a powerful—and often underused—tool.
Here’s what happens when leaders get comfortable with silence:
1. People feel safer.
When leaders allow silence after asking a question, it gives the team permission to think. It communicates, “I’m not rushing you. I actually want to hear what you have to say.”
2. Listening improves.
You can’t truly listen if you’re already planning your next sentence. Silence allows space to absorb, reflect, and respond—rather than react.
3. Complexity is honored.
Not every issue has a quick answer. Holding silence gives room for nuance, honesty, and deeper insight.
4. Confidence grows.
Ironically, it takes confidence to be quiet. Leaders who can hold silence signal strength—not insecurity. They model calm in the face of complexity.
Silence in coaching, therapy, and care
Professionals in coaching, therapy, or caregiving know this well: silence isn’t a gap. It’s a gateway.
When someone is struggling or searching for words, silence invites them to go deeper. It says:
“Take your time. I’m here. You don’t have to perform.”
In those moments, silence holds more healing power than any perfectly crafted response.
Reframing the awkwardness
If silence feels awkward, ask yourself:
- Is it actually uncomfortable?
- Or am I just unused to its weight?
Often, it’s not the silence that’s awkward—it’s our discomfort with being still. With not having answers. With being in the unknown.
But the unknown is where growth begins. Creativity, insight, and connection live in the spaces we’re tempted to rush past.
Practicing spacious silence
Here are a few ways to shift from avoiding silence to embracing it:
Pause before responding.
Let your conversation partner’s words land. Reflect. Then respond. It deepens the dialogue—and often surprises you with what emerges.
Use silence as a signal.
In meetings, allow quiet moments to invite new voices. People who process internally often speak after a pause—not during interruptions.
Breathe in conflict.
When conversations heat up, silence isn’t retreat—it’s regulation. A moment of calm can de-escalate tension and restore clarity.
Practice presence.
Next time you’re with someone—especially someone in pain—try being with them in quiet support. No fixing. No advice. Just presence. You’ll be amazed how healing it can be.
The spacious gift of silence
In a world that races to respond, silence slows us down enough to see. To feel. To be.
It creates room for reflection, truth, and authentic connection.
It’s not a failure in communication.
It’s the fullness of it.
So next time you find yourself in a quiet moment—in a meeting, in a conversation, in your own mind—don’t rush to fill it.
Welcome it.
Because silence isn’t awkward—it’s spacious.
And in that space, the most important things begin to grow.
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
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