In the quiet places of your mind, beneath the strategies, the habits, the identity work and leadership skills, there lies something even more foundational: your view of being human.
Are you a self-creation? A project to fix, polish, and present?
Or are you a creation — designed, loved, and called — whose worth is already established?
The answer to that question forms the bedrock of your internal life. It affects how you relate to change, how you view success and failure, how you treat others, and how you lead.
Let’s look at the two dominant paradigms — and the impact they have on everything from mental health to purpose and resilience.
The self-development project view: “You must make yourself.”
This mindset is everywhere in modern culture:
“Become the best version of yourself.”
“You can be anything.”
“It’s all up to you.”
It sounds empowering. And in some ways, it is. We do have agency. We grow through discipline, self-awareness, and commitment. But when the entire responsibility for your worth and identity is placed on your shoulders, it creates a burden too heavy to bear.
In this worldview:
- You are the architect, builder, and evaluator of your own value.
- Success becomes identity.
- Failure becomes shame.
- Progress is never enough.
- And peace is always just one achievement away.
This mindset often leads to inner pressure, anxiety, and exhaustion. You’re always editing yourself. You’re never truly home in your own life. You don’t rest — you perform, even when no one’s watching.
This doesn’t just affect you. It affects how you lead:
- You may unconsciously view others as “projects” to fix.
- You may struggle to show grace in conflict or failure.
- You may drive your team harder than you intend — because their results validate your leadership identity.
The created identity view: “You are already chosen, already loved.”
What if you are not primarily a self-made project?
What if you are a created being — with inherent value, placed here with purpose?
This view, deeply rooted in spiritual and theological wisdom, says:
You are not your resume.
You are not your worst moment.
You are not even your greatest potential.
You are a person, made by Love, for love.
From this starting point:
- You don’t have to earn your worth. You live from it.
- Growth becomes a response to love, not a grasp for identity.
- Failure becomes learning, not disqualification.
- Leadership becomes stewardship, not ego extension.
This is not a license for complacency — far from it. It simply means the foundation is grace, not pressure. It gives you space to breathe, reflect, and become, without fear of being discarded or diminished.
The difference in practice: Inner freedom and outer presence
Here’s how your human paradigm shows up in practice:
| Situation | Self-project view | Created identity view |
|---|---|---|
| You fail at something | «I’m not enough.» | «What can I learn from this?» |
| A colleague struggles | «Why can’t they get it right?» | «How can I support their growth?» |
| You feel lost | «I have no idea who I am.» | «Let me return to what is already true about me.» |
| You lead others | «I need to prove I’m strong.» | «I need to be present, not perfect.» |
Your leadership style, coaching approach, and inner peace all stem from the paradigm you carry.
Integration: Bringing the two together
Yes, you are responsible. Yes, growth matters.
But growth rooted in fear leads to burnout.
Growth rooted in love leads to fruitfulness.
So here’s my coaching challenge to you:
- What part of your life is still operating under the belief that you are only as good as your performance?
- What would shift if you remembered that your value is not earned — it’s received?
- How would your leadership, your creativity, your parenting or your relationships change if your core identity was anchored in grace?
You are a life
If your self-worth is always up for debate, your life will be too.
Let yourself grow.
Let yourself heal.
Let yourself lead boldly.
But do it from the truth — not the trap — of your humanity.
You are not your own project.
You are not a brand to manage.
You are a life — created, cherished, and capable of becoming more.
Let that be your starting point.
Because from there, everything becomes clearer — and lighter.
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
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