DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Feedback. Just the word can sometimes bring a little jolt of anxiety, right? For many, it conjures images of annual reviews, critical remarks, or awkward conversations. But what if we reframed feedback not as a judgment, but as a powerful, positive engine for growth, a gift that helps us refine our skills, deepen our understanding, and truly flourish?

The truth is, when delivered and received effectively, feedback is one of the most fruitful tools we have for personal and professional development. It’s how we learn, adjust, and elevate our game.

Let’s explore how to make feedback a truly productive and even enjoyable experience, while sidestepping some common pitfalls…

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The sweet taste of fruitful feedback

Imagine feedback as nutrient-rich soil for a plant. When it’s well-composed and delivered with care, it helps everything bloom. Here’s what makes feedback truly fruitful:

1. It’s specific and actionable: Vague feedback like «You need to be more proactive» isn’t very helpful. Fruitful feedback offers concrete examples: «When you noticed the client’s concern in the meeting, you could have immediately offered a follow-up call to address it.» It clearly points to what can be done differently.
2. It’s timely: The closer the feedback is to the event, the more impactful it will be. Addressing a situation promptly (without being impulsive) allows the recipient to connect the feedback directly to their actions and course-correct quickly.
3. It’s balanced (The «sandwich» isn’t always best!): While the old «compliment-criticism-compliment» sandwich is well-intentioned, people often only hear the «criticism.» Fruitful feedback focuses on development. It starts by acknowledging strengths and positive intent, then clearly addresses areas for improvement, always linking back to growth and future success. Consider the «Situation-Behavior-Impact» (SBI) model for clarity.
4. It’s focused on behavior, not character: Feedback should describe observable actions, not make assumptions about personality or intentions. Instead of «You’re lazy,» try: «I noticed the report was submitted after the deadline twice this week.»
5. It’s delivered with positive intent and empathy: The underlying goal of fruitful feedback is to help the other person succeed. Approach the conversation with genuine care, a desire to support, and an understanding of their perspective. Empathy disarms defensiveness.
6. It’s a dialogue, not a monologue: Fruitful feedback is a two-way street. The person giving feedback should be prepared to listen to the recipient’s perspective, answer questions, and collaboratively explore solutions.
7. It’s solicited (when possible): While not always feasible for urgent performance issues, encouraging people to ask for feedback (e.g., «What’s one thing I could do to improve this presentation?») significantly increases its receptivity and perceived value.

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Pitfalls to avoid: The weeds in the garden

Just as some conditions can hinder growth, certain approaches can turn feedback into a thorny bush rather than a blooming flower. Watch out for these common pitfalls:

• The «surprise attack»: Saving all feedback for an annual review can feel like a sudden ambush, leading to defensiveness and missed opportunities for earlier improvement.
• Being vague or general: As mentioned, fluffy feedback like «Just do better» leaves the recipient confused and unable to act.
• Focusing on personality or attitudes: Labeling someone as «unmotivated» or «negative» is judgmental and unhelpful. Instead, describe behaviors that lead to those perceptions.
• Delivering feedback publicly: Unless it’s universal positive praise, corrective feedback should almost always be delivered privately to maintain respect and psychological safety.
• The «hit and run»: Giving feedback and then immediately disappearing or changing the subject without allowing for discussion or questions.
• Allowing emotions to dictate: Delivering feedback when angry, frustrated, or overly emotional can lead to accusatory language and a breakdown in communication. Take a breath and center yourself first.
• Lack of follow-up: Giving feedback and then never checking in on progress or offering further support implies the feedback wasn’t genuinely important.
• Making it a personal attack: Shifting from «the report was late» to «you always mess things up» quickly devolves into a personal attack, eroding trust.

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Cultivating a culture of growth

Making feedback fruitful isn’t just about individual interactions; it’s about fostering a culture where feedback is seen as a continuous loop of learning and improvement. Encourage open communication, model effective feedback yourself, and celebrate the growth that comes from embracing honest, helpful insights.

When we approach feedback with positive intent, clarity, and a genuine desire to help others (and ourselves!) grow, it transforms from a dreaded obligation into a powerful catalyst for individual excellence and collective success. Let’s make every piece of feedback a seed for future flourishing!