One of the most powerful assets you can cultivate is emotional agility—the capacity to understand and navigate your emotions with clarity—and self-leadership, the ability to act in alignment with your values and purpose, even under pressure.
Together, these two skills form the foundation for not just surviving, but thriving in both your personal and professional life. They allow you to make wise choices, show up authentically, and lead with resilience. As Susan David, Harvard psychologist and author of Emotional Agility, writes:
“Courage is not an absence of fear; courage is fear walking.”
When we develop emotional agility and self-leadership, we move from automatic reactions to intentional, value-driven responses.
1. Building emotional regulation
Emotions are not obstacles to be overcome, but signals to be understood. Learning how to regulate emotions does not mean suppressing or ignoring them. It means recognizing what you feel, understanding where it comes from, and choosing how to respond wisely.
Tools and practices:
- Name it to tame it: Labeling your emotion (e.g., “I’m feeling anxious”) activates the brain’s prefrontal cortex and reduces reactivity.
- Body scanning and breathwork: Noticing where tension sits in your body and using the breath to ground yourself.
- Cognitive reframing: Shifting your internal narrative. Instead of “I failed,” try “I’m learning through this setback.”
Why it matters: Leaders who cannot manage their emotions will be managed by them. Emotional regulation increases your influence, deepens trust with others, and prevents unnecessary conflict.
2. Strengthening identity and purpose alignment
In times of pressure or uncertainty, it’s easy to become disconnected from who we are and what truly matters to us. Self-leadership requires a steady internal compass—your values—to guide your behavior when things get tough.
Ask yourself:
- Who am I when I’m at my best?
- What are the values I want to embody in my work and relationships?
- What does “success” mean to me—not just externally, but internally?
Practices for purpose alignment:
- Personal values inventory: Clarify your top 5 core values and revisit them regularly.
- Weekly check-ins: Reflect on how your recent actions aligned (or didn’t) with your values.
- Define your “why”: Create a personal mission statement to guide decisions in ambiguous moments.
Why it matters: When you’re rooted in purpose, you’re less likely to chase external approval and more likely to pursue meaningful, sustainable goals.
3. Moving from reaction to intentional action
Life throws curveballs. Teams make mistakes. People frustrate us. Emotional agility is what allows you to pause, reflect, and choose a response that aligns with your long-term vision—not just your short-term emotion.
How to shift from reactivity to intentionality:
- The “pause gap”: Build the habit of taking a breath before responding—especially in heated moments.
- Ask better questions: Instead of “Why is this happening to me?”, try “What’s the opportunity here for learning or clarity?”
- Intentional journaling: Use reflective writing to process triggers and plan intentional next steps.
Why it matters: Reaction is automatic. Intention is a choice. And intention builds character, culture, and long-term credibility.
Emotional agility in practice: A leadership asset
Emotional agility and self-leadership aren’t soft skills—they’re essential skills. Leaders who demonstrate these qualities:
- Make better decisions under pressure
- Create psychological safety for others
- Lead with authenticity and credibility
- Recover faster from setbacks
- Inspire greater engagement and trust
Whether you’re a manager, entrepreneur, teacher, caregiver, or coach, your ability to lead yourself shapes how you lead others.
Self-leadership begins when you stop outsourcing your power to circumstances and start choosing your response with wisdom and courage.
You won’t always get it right. But you can always return—again and again—to that inner place of clarity and purpose. And from there, lead forward.
As Viktor Frankl reminds us:
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Let that space be your power.
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
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