Change is an inevitable part of life, but it’s often hard to embrace.
We tend to cling to the familiar, even when we know it no longer works for us.
It’s been said that “people don’t change until the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.”
This expression reveals a deep truth about how we often resist change—until we’re faced with something we can no longer tolerate.
But why is it like this? And can we flip that resistance into something good?
Fear of the unknown
One of the main reasons we resist change is the fear of the unknown.
Change means moving toward something new, and we don’t always know what that new reality will bring.
Even when we’re in a situation that is uncomfortable or unsustainable, it can still feel safer than stepping into an uncertain future.
We might fear that change will bring more pain, more challenges, or more discomfort than we’re already experiencing.
This fear causes many to stay in situations, habits, jobs, or relationships that no longer serve them—simply because the alternative feels too uncertain.
The pain of not changing
At some point, though, the pain of staying the same becomes too great to ignore.
Maybe an unhealthy lifestyle has led to serious health issues, or perhaps a toxic job or relationship has drained us emotionally.
It’s often only when the consequences of not changing become unbearable that we begin to realize something needs to shift.
The pain of not changing can show up in many forms: emotional exhaustion, physical illness, anxiety, or depression.
When we finally recognize that our current situation isn’t just holding us back—but actively harming us—this realization can become the fuel that pushes us toward change.
When the pain of remaining the same becomes unbearable, we finally start to see change as an opportunity—not a threat.
The pain of change
It’s also important to acknowledge that change itself can be painful.
It requires effort, self-discipline, and a willingness to face both fear and discomfort.
Changing habits, ending relationships, or stepping into the unknown can bring feelings of loss and instability.
The transition period is often marked by vulnerability and imbalance.
But the pain of change is often necessary for growth.
As we go through the painful process, we also gain the opportunity to grow, to develop new skills, and ultimately to find greater fulfillment.
The pain of change is usually temporary, while the growth and clarity that come from facing those challenges can be long-lasting.
The shift toward change
The transition from avoiding change to embracing it often begins with the realization that we do have the power to influence our own circumstances.
When we acknowledge that we are responsible for our own lives, it becomes easier to accept the necessity of change.
This shift in perspective allows us to face the short-term pain of change with courage and determination—because we understand that the reward on the other side is worth it.
Final reflection
People often don’t change until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change.
Pain can serve as a powerful catalyst—pushing us toward the changes we need.
Though change may be difficult and even painful, it also brings the opportunity to grow, evolve, and find deeper satisfaction in life.
When we accept that the pain of not changing may be greater than the challenge of changing, we open the door to a life that is more aligned with our values and goals.
DREIESKIVA|Roald Kvam 
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