DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

We often live on autopilot, trapped in old habits and patterns that govern our behavior and thinking. These patterns—mental, emotional, or behavioral—are often deeply ingrained through years of experience, habit, and unconscious reaction. And yet, there is a way out of this automated way of living…

When we become able to notice what we are doing—right now—and fully experience our state without judgment, we can begin to free ourselves from these old patterns.

It is through this awareness—this focused attention—that change begins, and old patterns can gradually start to fall away.

It’s all about respect, actually. The word comes from Latin:

Re + Spectare = To look again.

It’s wise to both act and react from a place of respect. Not just checking what we see in a given situation, but also how we look at what we see. Because how we look at what we see shapes how we act and react—and what happens next.

Exploring and challenging old patterns is, at its core, about having respect for yourself… Taking on a “look-again” posture toward yourself.

To notice what we’re doing—right now—is to bring our full attention into the present moment: to our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It means being consciously present. Instead of letting our minds drift backward to the past or forward into the future, we focus on what’s happening—right here, right now.

This is no easy task. We are often so accustomed to being stuck in old loops of worry, rumination, or automatic responses that it takes effort to break the cycle.

But the moment we start noticing what we’re doing and thinking as we’re doing it… we can begin to see the patterns that shape us.

Maybe we discover that we often react with anger when we feel threatened, or that we instinctively withdraw in social settings without really reflecting on why.

A crucial part of this process is allowing ourselves to experience our current state—without judging it! When we notice our thoughts and feelings, it’s common to judge ourselves for them: “Why am I thinking this?”, “I shouldn’t feel this,” or “Why do I always react this way?” These judging thoughts often reinforce our old patterns and make them harder to let go of.

When we judge ourselves, we add a layer of negativity on top of our already existing patterns, which can strengthen them and make them even harder to change.

To experience our state without judgment means observing our thoughts and emotions with a sense of curiosity—as though we’re watching them from the outside. Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can ask: “What am I feeling right now?”, “Why am I thinking this way?”, “How is my body responding to this?”

When we allow our feelings and reactions to exist without pushing them away or labeling them as wrong, we give them space—and in that openness, change can begin…

As we become more aware of our reactions and patterns without judging them, we start to create space for something new. Old patterns are often reinforced through unconscious repetition—when we react the same way over and over again without asking why. By bringing awareness—a concentrated attention—into these moments, we create a moment of freedom where we can choose to respond differently.

For example, if we notice that we often get angry in certain situations, we can, in that very moment of noticing the anger, ask ourselves what’s behind it. Perhaps we discover that anger is a defense mechanism we’ve relied on for years—but that it no longer serves us. In becoming aware of it, we can choose to respond differently—maybe by taking two deep breaths, calming down, or expressing our feelings in a gentler way.

Over time, as we continue to interrupt our automatic responses, the old patterns begin to lose their power over us.

This is a gradual process. Long-standing patterns won’t disappear overnight. But each time we notice them—without judgment—they lose a little more of their grip. The more we practice this, the easier it becomes to act from awareness rather than from habit.

As we begin to let go of old patterns, we experience greater freedom and flexibility in life. We are no longer driven by unconscious reactions, but can instead act with intention—with clarity and purpose. This also leads to greater emotional freedom—we are no longer trapped in recurring cycles of anger, fear, or anxiety. Instead, we can begin to experience more calm, contentment, and presence.

This process also opens the door to growth. By freeing ourselves from old patterns, we can start to live more authentically—in line with our values and desires, rather than being stuck in habits that no longer serve us. It also gives us the opportunity to improve our relationships, as we no longer respond automatically to people and situations, but can meet them with a presence and awareness that fosters understanding and empathy.

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When we take the time to notice what we are doing—right now—and experience our thoughts, feelings, and actions without judging them, we begin to free ourselves from the old patterns that have kept us stuck.

This process of conscious presence—of focused attention—is a powerful path to personal growth. It’s through this practice that we create space for new choices, new responses, and a deeper sense of freedom and authenticity in our lives.

And yes, I know these are long and slow processes. And that they can feel lonely to walk through alone, over time.
Well—you know that I know that too… and that I’m rooting for you. So feel free to visit www.dreieskiva.com for courses and coaching to help you take back control in your life.