DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Emotional numbness is a state where one experiences a weakening or complete absence of emotional reactions. It can be a deep feeling of emptiness or an inability to feel joy, sadness, anger, or other emotions that normally touch us in everyday life.

While this emotional numbness may seem protective in the moment, it often represents an underlying challenge that can have significant consequences for our mental and emotional well-being.

Sources

Emotional numbness can often be traced back to traumatic experiences or periods of extreme stress. When the body and mind become overwhelmed by pain or danger, numbness can serve as a defense mechanism to protect us from overwhelming emotional pain:

By «shutting down» emotions, we try to shield ourselves from further harm.

When faced with ongoing stress or strain without sufficient time to process it, numbness can arise as a way to cope with constant overload.

For many people with depression, emotional numbness is a common experience. This can include a feeling of indifference or lack of interest in activities that were once enjoyable, as well as an inability to feel deep emotions.

Chronic anxiety can also lead to emotional numbness, especially when anxiety causes exhaustion and overwhelm. When the mind is in a constant «fight or flight» mode, it can become difficult to experience normal emotional reactions.

Sometimes, emotional numbness results from conscious or unconscious withdrawal from social and emotional interactions. This can happen after repeated disappointments or relational conflicts, where one pulls back to avoid further emotional harm.

Consequences

Numbness can lead to difficulties in connecting with other people. When one cannot feel or express emotions, it can be challenging to build and maintain close relationships. Partners, friends, and family may perceive this numbness as indifference or rejection, which can harm relationships.

Living without feeling joy, excitement, or love can dramatically reduce quality of life. Life may feel meaningless or monotonous, and one can lose interest in previous passions and activities.

Emotional numbness can be both a symptom and a precursor to more serious mental conditions, such as severe depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Left untreated, this numbness can worsen over time.

Struggles

Sometimes the greatest struggle is to be strong enough to be weak.

Talk about it and give yourself time to let the feelings «rise up.» When you have pushed them down so far and so long, it will naturally take time for them to surface again. Here’s how I think:

Call upon the feelings. Talk about them!

Give the feelings time—enough time—to «rise up» to the surface and come back to life.

It may come as a slow trickle that moistens more and more of the bone-dry… But it can also arrive overwhelming and powerful when it breaks through to the surface. Yes, like dams breaking…

If it happens either way: Just stay with it! Don’t withdraw. Don’t dampen them. Let them come up and announce themselves. Finally!!

There are also several good helpers and tools:

Therapy, especially cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) or trauma-focused therapy, can be helpful in assisting someone to process the underlying causes of numbness and begin to restore emotional balance.

For some, medication may be part of the treatment, especially when numbness is associated with depression or anxiety.

Mindfulness and meditation can help some become more aware of their feelings and begin to re-experience them in a safe and controlled way.

Writing, drawing, playing music or singing, or painting thoughts and feelings can help restore contact with one’s inner life.

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Emotional numbness is a complex and challenging condition that may protect us in the short term, but over the long term can prevent us from living a full and meaningful life.

By understanding the causes behind numbness and taking steps to restore emotional connection, we can begin the journey toward healing and a richer emotional life.

It is important to remember that help is available, and that it is possible to get through numbness and again find joy, meaning, and connection in life.