DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

I want to strongly assert this:
“You don’t see me as I am—you see me as you are.”

My statement highlights how our perception of each other—and of the world—is deeply shaped by our inner state: our experiences, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs.

This means we rarely see things objectively. Instead, we view them through a filter crafted by who we are.

If I’m right about this, it has profound implications for our self-understanding, our relationships, and how we navigate the world. Let’s take a closer look together:

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The power of perspective

Our perception of one another—and of the world—is subjective. We cannot escape the fact that we interpret events and situations through the lens of our own life experiences and emotional states. This, in turn, affects how we understand and respond to each other and our surroundings.

Our inner world—our thoughts, emotions, fears, and hopes—shapes how we see and interpret the outer world. What happens inside us often reflects what we perceive outside of us.

And then it happens: we often project our own feelings and attitudes onto others.
If we feel insecure, we might assume others are judging us.
If we’re feeling joyful, the world seems friendlier.

This is precisely the moment when I believe we need to catch ourselves—yes, pause ourselves—before we let our thoughts run loose, forming premature opinions about the people and environment around us.

We’d all benefit from moving through life with deeper respect for the power of perspective.
Because it colors everything, and can bend and distort our reality in ways that are neither kind nor true.

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How perspective powerfully shapes our reality

Our expectations shape how we interpret situations. Most of us agree on that in theory.
But do we actually act on it in practice?

Because here’s what that means:
If we expect something to go wrong, we begin to notice signs of failure—even when they’re not really there.
Our expectations of others can easily deceive us, causing us to jump to conclusions—stealing from us the chance of a meaningful connection.

Our beliefs can also lead to self-fulfilling prophecies.
For instance, if you believe you’re not good enough, that belief might influence your behavior in ways that actually increase the chances of failure.
If you set the bar low, you won’t jump high.

By realizing that others are also viewing the world through their own filters, we can develop more empathy and understanding.
This can help us communicate better—and build stronger relationships.

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How to become more aware of your own perception

It’s important for all of us to remember: we don’t hold the whole truth.
Each one of us is shaped—profoundly—by our internal landscape when we assess and interpret the world around us.

We need, in other words, to raise our awareness.
Without this, we risk making judgments—about ourselves and others—that are fundamentally unfair.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Reflect on your own thoughts and emotions.
  This can help you notice how they influence your view of the world.
• Practice being more present, without judging what you observe.
  This can help you see things more clearly and objectively.
• Listen to how others view a situation.
  Their perspective can help you identify the filters affecting your own perception.
• Seek professional support—a coach or therapist can help you uncover and work through deeply held belief patterns that influence how you perceive reality.
  They can also equip you with tools to break negative cycles and develop a more balanced perspective.
  (Highly recommended—check out www.dreieskiva.com for coaching and courses.)

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Final thought

With this statement—“You don’t see me as I am, you see me as you are”—I want to remind us of something vital:
Our perception of each other and the world is deeply influenced by who we ourselves are.

By increasing our awareness of our internal filters, we can move toward a more objective and balanced view—of one another, and of the world at large.

Acknowledging that we often see people and situations not as they truly are, but as we are, can be a powerful step toward empathy, humility, and genuine connection.