DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Life is a series of sales — and in one way or another, we’re all salespeople. Every day we influence, interact, and «sell» ideas, solutions, or support that benefit others—whether personally or professionally.

But here’s the thing: traditional sellers no longer hold the trump cards…

With a quick Google search, prospective customers can match or even surpass the seller’s knowledge. That makes it harder to signal unique expertise, build credibility, and earn trust using old-school sales tactics. Without trust, selling—and collaboration—becomes a steep uphill climb. Sellers from the «older school» risk losing interest before they ever gain a foothold.

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So what should anyone who wants to communicate or «sell» something do?

Invest in listening.
Yes, I know—that’s the ABC of communication. But it’s especially critical in sales. People who don’t listen miss opportunities to build rapport, uncover needs, and show that they understand the other person’s situation.

And yet: how often do we misinterpret listening?
We wait our turn to speak. We focus on what we plan to say instead of truly hearing the other person.

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The path to active listening

To combat this, we must practice active listening. Even with years of experience, I constantly need to revisit these skills—because listening degrades if it’s not fresh.

Active listening, in my view, involves four clear actions by the communicator (the “seller”):

1. Listen carefully—with focused attention—what the other person is saying.
2. Reflect back the content and emotions you perceive.
3. Confirm that you understood correctly.
4. Ask more—and talk about yourself less—to deepen and clarify your understanding.

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1. Listen carefully

Claim: Sellers are often too focused on talking, not listening.
Even if we intend to listen, we’re tuned into trigger words that allow us to pitch. We become like trained dogs waiting for a cue—repeating a scripted response. We think we’re connecting—but we’re not. Buyers sense it quickly and disengage.
Instead: know your message well—but forget the script. Focus on their words, tone, expressions, body language. Walk in their shoes. Only then can you speak with credibility about whether and how you can help.

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2. Reflect Back What You Hear

When someone reveals something key—values, problems, goals—reflect it back to them.
You can mirror their exact phrase or paraphrase it.

• Exact repetition saves time and confirms accuracy—but be careful not to sound robotic.
• Paraphrasing shows deeper listening and human engagement—but risk oversimplifying.

Goal: show you are listening and understanding, not just echoing.

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3. Confirm Understanding

Don’t assume you understood just because they nodded.
You might ask, “So you’re saying…?”—but avoid shifting responsibility for clarity onto them.

Instead, take ownership:
“They said, ‘[X]’, and I understood it this way: [my summary]. Is that right?”

This builds a feedback loop that aligns your reality with theirs—and fosters trust.

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4. Ask More—Talk Less

Once you’re aligned, ask open-ended follow-up questions.
Resist the urge to pitch or tell your story—especially about your company’s success or competitor flaws. They don’t care.
Avoid closed questions (“Yes/no?”), which stall the conversation.
Use openness to invite their goals, concerns, and reflections. They often find their own answers—especially when they feel heard.

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Why it matters

ACTIVE listening may not close the sale instantly, but it builds something more durable—trust and credibility.
You serve them by showing you understand. They walk away feeling better than before—and you often end up helping someone discover a real solution, even if it’s not with you.
Sometimes the “no” they give becomes a future “yes”—and feedback from that “no” helps you improve.

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Bringing it all together

You build this skill by practicing—over and over.
When you genuinely listen, the other person knows. And that’s when you begin to serve, build trust—and maybe even earn a sale.

Because today’s buyers don’t need you for information, they need you for understanding.
Speak less. Listen deeply.
Sell—or serve—the world with active listening.

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Source & Inspiration
Adapted from: Caputa, P. “Active Listening in Sales: The Ultimate Guide”