DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Great communication isn’t just about speaking well—it’s about connecting meaningfully. In every relationship, team, and organization, communication is the lifeblood that builds trust, drives collaboration, and fuels progress. But most communication breakdowns aren’t because of what was said—but what wasn’t truly heard or understood.

In this article, we’ll explore how to improve communication through the lens of active listening, feedback, and confident presence—especially in challenging conversations. Whether you’re navigating workplace dynamics or personal relationships, mastering these skills will help you foster deeper understanding, resolve conflict, and lead with clarity and confidence.

Why communication matters more than ever

In a fast-paced, hybrid, and often distracted world, the ability to communicate with intention is a superpower. Clear communication:

• Builds trust and psychological safety
• Prevents misunderstandings and assumptions
• Increases engagement and performance
• Enables effective collaboration and leadership
• Reduces stress and conflict

But communication is a two-way street. It’s not just what you say—it’s how you listen, how you respond, and how you make others feel heard and valued.

The cornerstone: Active listening

Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. Active listening flips that. It means giving your full attention to the speaker, suspending judgment, and seeking to understand their perspective—before you speak.

The core elements of active listening include:

1. Presence

• Eliminate distractions (put your phone down, close your laptop).
• Maintain open body language and eye contact.
• Be mentally available—listen with your whole self.

2. Reflection

• Paraphrase what you heard: “So what I’m hearing is…”
• Ask clarifying questions: “Can you say more about that?”
• Validate feelings, even if you disagree: “That sounds frustrating.”

3. Patience

• Let the speaker finish their thought—avoid interrupting.
• Resist the urge to “fix” or jump in with advice too quickly.
• Create space for silence—sometimes the best insights come after a pause.

Active listening is a skill—and a gift. It signals, “You matter. I’m here. I want to understand.”

Improving how you speak: Clarity, brevity, and empathy

To communicate clearly, especially in high-stakes situations, aim for:

1. Clarity

• Know your key message before you speak.
• Use plain language—avoid jargon or ambiguity.
• Structure your message: context → point → supporting detail.

2. Brevity

• Get to the point without rambling.
• Focus on what’s essential for the listener.
• Less is often more—respect attention spans.

3. Empathy

• Consider the other person’s perspective and emotional state.
• Adjust tone and approach accordingly.
• Ask: “How will what I’m saying land for them?”

It’s not just about what you say—it’s about how it’s received.

Feedback: How to give (and receive) it constructively

Feedback is essential for growth, but often avoided or mishandled. Done well, it strengthens relationships. Done poorly, it breeds defensiveness.

When giving feedback:

• Ask for permission: “Is now a good time to share some thoughts?”
• Be specific: “When you did [X], the impact was [Y].”
• Focus on behavior, not personality: “I noticed you interrupted several times…” vs. “You’re always rude.”
• Balance with curiosity: “What was your experience of that meeting?”

When receiving feedback:

• Listen without defensiveness—breathe and stay open.
• Ask clarifying questions if unsure.
• Thank the person, even if the feedback is hard.
• Reflect before responding or reacting.

Feedback is not a judgment—it’s a perspective. Use it as data to grow.

Navigating difficult conversations

Conflict is inevitable—but avoidance is optional. Difficult conversations become less daunting when approached with structure and respect.

Key principles for tough talks:

1. Prepare, don’t script

• Know your intent and desired outcome.
• Anticipate potential triggers and stay grounded.

2. Use “I” language

• Speak from your own experience: “I felt…”, “I noticed…”
• Avoid blame or assumptions about motives.

3. Stay curious

• Ask open-ended questions: “How did you see it?”
• Explore the other person’s needs, not just your own.

4. Manage emotion

• Name emotions calmly if needed: “I’m feeling frustrated, and I’d like us to find a way forward.”
• Take breaks if emotions escalate—don’t force resolution.

5. Focus on resolution

• Agree on next steps, not just express grievances.
• Look for common ground and mutual benefit.

Difficult conversations aren’t a sign of dysfunction—they’re a path to deeper understanding and alignment when handled with care.

Communication in the digital age: Slowing down to connect

With remote work, digital communication is everywhere—email, Slack, Teams, DMs. But tone and nuance are often lost in text.

Tips for better digital communication:

• When in doubt, talk it out—don’t resolve conflict over email.
• Use video for sensitive or complex conversations.
• Be intentional with tone—friendly doesn’t mean vague.
• Avoid reactive messaging—pause, breathe, reread before sending.

Clarity and humanity go hand-in-hand, even on screen.

Putting it all together: Daily practices for better communication

1. Begin each day by asking: “Who do I need to truly listen to today?”
2. In meetings, focus on understanding before contributing.
3. End conversations with: “Is there anything you’d like to add or clarify?”
4. Reflect weekly: “Where did I communicate clearly? Where could I improve?”

Small shifts compound over time. Communicators aren’t born—they’re built.

— — —

At the heart of strong relationships, thriving teams, and effective leadership is one key skill: communication.

To improve yours:

• Listen actively and empathetically
• Speak with clarity, brevity, and presence
• Give and receive feedback as a gift, not a threat
• Approach difficult conversations with curiosity and courage
• Be mindful of how you connect in digital spaces

Because when we communicate better, we not only perform better—we connect more deeply, lead more powerfully, and live more meaningfully. And it all starts with the choice to listen, speak, and show up with intention.