DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

In a world full of noise, expectations, and ever-increasing speed, it is easy to drift away from the essence of who we are. Amid this chaos, three deceptively simple questions emerge as profound anchors for reflection and realignment: “Am I?”, “Who am I?”, and “How am I?” These are not just philosophical curiosities — they are tools for cultivating self-awareness, authenticity, and personal growth.

Let’s explore the depth of each question…

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1. The question of existence and presence

This first question is as simple as it is profound: Am I?
It doesn’t ask what you are or how you are — it merely asks whether you are.

This is the invitation to presence, to existence itself. It is a pause in the middle of your day that asks:
→ “Am I really here in this moment, or am I lost in thought?”
→ “Am I living consciously, or am I on autopilot?”

It’s a grounding question, bringing you back to the now, to breath, to being.
The answer doesn’t come from logic. It comes from awareness.

“Am I?” becomes a portal to mindfulness.
You exist — but are you aware that you do?
You’re breathing — but are you feeling your breath?
You’re alive — but are you awake to it?

«I think, therefore I am,» said Descartes.
But sometimes, it’s more radical to just be without thinking.

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2. The question of identity

This is perhaps the most explored question in philosophy, spirituality, and psychology:
“Who am I?”
It is the question that confronts the ego, that uncovers the stories we’ve inherited or built around ourselves.

We often answer this question through roles and labels:

• I’m a teacher.
• I’m a parent.
• I’m an achiever.
• I’m a failure.
• I’m the funny one.
• I’m broken.

But who are you beneath those roles?
Who are you when you’re alone?
Who are you when nobody is watching?

“Who am I?” leads us to confront the stories we tell ourselves. Some empower us. Some limit us. Some were written by others — our culture, our family, our past.
To ask this question sincerely is to begin peeling away the layers of expectation and identity that have been glued to our skin.

«The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.» – Carl Jung

And you may not arrive at a single, final answer.
But the act of asking the question creates clarity, humility, and connection to your deeper self.

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3. The question of state and awareness

Once you’ve acknowledged that you are, and begun to explore who you are, the next natural question becomes:
“How am I?”

This is the check-in. It’s the moment of emotional honesty.

• Am I tired?
• Am I anxious?
• Am I at peace?
• Am I numb?
• Am I full of joy but pretending to be neutral?

Too often, we skip this question — or answer it quickly with a socially acceptable “I’m fine.”
But if you pause and really ask yourself, “How am I?”, you give yourself the gift of emotional clarity.

This question helps us tune into our needs:

• Do I need rest?
• Do I need connection?
• Do I need to set a boundary?
• Do I need to feel this grief, or dance through this happiness?

In a way, “How am I?” reconnects the mind and the body. It becomes a compass for well-being and emotional resilience.

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The questions together: A journey of awareness

Each question builds on the last:

“Am I?” grounds you in presence.
“Who am I?” reveals the self beneath the masks.
“How am I?” brings compassion and awareness to your current state.

Individually, these questions are powerful.
Together, they are transformative.

They help you live more consciously, relate to others more authentically, and respond to life with more clarity.

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How to use these questions practically

You don’t need to sit on a mountaintop to engage with these questions.
You can use them:

• As daily journaling prompts
• During moments of stress or confusion
• As a morning check-in or evening reflection
• In conversations with close friends or therapists
• Before important decisions or transitions

Even asking one of them — sincerely and often — can begin to change your relationship to yourself.

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Final reflection

These questions may not give you all the answers.
But they can guide you back to yourself, again and again.

And in that return, you may discover that you are more than the roles you play, the emotions you carry, or the labels you’ve accepted.
You are here. You are becoming. You are whole, even in your searching.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” – Rumi

So today — before rushing into your to-do list — pause and ask:

• Am I?
• Who am I?
• How am I?

And just notice what arises.

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