DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

There is an old proverb that states:

«You cannot see your reflection in boiling water. Similarly, you cannot see the truth in a state of anger.»

This simple yet profound metaphor highlights the essence of emotional clarity and perception. Just as turbulent water distorts any image that tries to reflect upon its surface, a mind consumed by anger is incapable of perceiving reality as it truly is. It is only when the water calms that the reflection becomes clear, and it is only when the mind settles that truth reveals itself.

The nature of boiling water and distortion

Imagine standing by the edge of a tranquil lake on a still morning. The surface is smooth, like a polished mirror, reflecting the sky, trees, and anything else that stands before it with perfect clarity. Now picture the same lake in the middle of a storm—waves crashing, ripples distorting every shape, and visibility reduced to chaos. The reflection disappears, replaced by agitation and disorder. This is the difference between a calm mind and one inflamed by anger.

When water boils, the molecules move with increased intensity, creating steam and turbulence. The surface is no longer capable of reflecting anything clearly. Instead, it becomes a chaotic, shifting mass of energy, unable to provide a stable image. Our minds function in a similar way. When we are consumed by anger, our thoughts race, our emotions surge, and our perception becomes distorted. In these moments, we may react impulsively, misinterpret situations, or say things we later regret. Anger clouds judgment, making it nearly impossible to see the truth.

Anger as an obstacle to truth

Anger is one of the most powerful and destructive emotions. While it has its place as a natural and sometimes necessary response, it often blinds us to reality.

When we are angry, we are less likely to listen, more prone to misinterpret, and quick to judge. The truth becomes elusive, hidden beneath the turbulence of our emotions.

Consider a heated argument with a loved one. When tempers flare, rationality diminishes. Words are exchanged without thought, accusations fly, and misunderstandings deepen. In such moments, neither party sees the situation for what it truly is. The mind, much like boiling water, becomes too agitated to reflect reality accurately. However, when the argument subsides and emotions settle, clarity emerges. We begin to see where we may have misunderstood, where our assumptions led us astray, and where empathy should have taken the place of hostility.

In this sense, anger is a veil, obscuring truth and understanding. When we act in anger, we are not acting from a place of wisdom but rather from a place of reaction. The decisions we make in such states are often regrettable because they are not based on reality but on distorted perception.

The path to clarity

If clarity comes when the waters are calm, then the key to seeing truth lies in stillness.

This is why practices like pause… to reflect, deep breathing, and mindfulness are often recommended when dealing with strong emotions. These techniques allow us to settle the storm within, giving us the opportunity to see with greater accuracy and respond with intention rather than impulse.

One of the greatest skills we can cultivate is the ability to pause… before reacting. When anger arises, taking a moment to step back, breathe, and let the emotional turbulence subside can prevent unnecessary conflict and poor decision-making. This pause… is akin to allowing the boiling water to cool—it restores clarity and allows us to see the situation as it truly is, rather than through the distorted lens of rage.

Wisdom from ancient teachings

The concept of anger clouding judgment and clarity emerging from calmness is echoed in many philosophical and spiritual traditions. In Buddhism, for example, anger is considered one of the «Three Poisons»—alongside greed and ignorance—that lead to suffering. The Buddha taught that anger is like holding a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone else; the one who holds it is the one who gets burned… By learning to let go of anger and cultivate inner peace, one can see things more clearly and act more wisely.

Similarly, in Stoicism, the ancient Greek philosophers emphasized the importance of emotional regulation. Marcus Aurelius, the Roman Emperor and Stoic thinker, wrote in his meditations:

«How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.»

In other words, what anger leads to is often far worse than what initially provoked it. By keeping the mind steady, like still water, one can avoid unnecessary suffering and poor judgment.

Practical steps to cultivating calmness

If we accept that anger distorts perception and that clarity comes from a calm state of mind, then it becomes essential to develop tools to manage anger effectively. Here are some practical ways to cultivate inner stillness:

1. Pause… before reacting – When anger arises, take a deep breath and count to ten. This simple act can prevent impulsive reactions and allow clarity to emerge.
2. Engage in mindfulness – Regular pauses… to reflect, prayers and mindfulness practices help train the mind to remain calm even in challenging situations.
3. Reframe the situation – Try to see the situation from multiple perspectives. What might the other person be experiencing? Is there another way to interpret their actions? In short: Sort out the facts from the story they are wrapped in…
4. Use physical outlets – Sometimes, physical activity like walking, jogging, or deep stretching can help release pent-up frustration and bring mental clarity.
5. Seek perspective – Talking to a trusted friend or mentor can provide a clearer view of the situation and help untangle emotional biases.
6. Practice self-compassion – Often, anger is a manifestation of deeper pain. Acknowledge your feelings with kindness rather than judgment.
7. Learn from experience – Reflect on past moments of anger. What was the outcome? Did acting in anger serve you well, or did it lead to regret? Awareness of these patterns can help break the cycle.

The gift of stillness

Life will always bring situations that stir emotions, just as the wind will always stir the water. But we have the power to choose how we respond…. We can let anger boil our minds into a frenzy, or we can cultivate the ability to let it pass, allowing clarity to emerge.

By remembering that we cannot see our reflection in boiling water, we remind ourselves to seek stillness before making decisions or forming conclusions. This simple truth holds the key to a more peaceful and understanding way of living.

In stillness, we see ourselves and the world as they truly are. And in that clarity, wisdom is found.