DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Emotions are a fundamental part of the human experience. They inform our decisions, shape our interactions, and guide us through challenges. However, when emotions take control, they can lead to impulsive actions and regrettable decisions. The ability to manage emotions effectively is a key skill for success, both personally and professionally.

Instead of allowing stress and frustration to dictate your actions, you can develop the habit of staying grounded.

Reset before reacting. – Roald

By taking control of your emotional responses, you can cultivate resilience, foster better relationships, and make more thoughtful choices. Here’s how to stay in control when emotions try to take over.

1. Breathe before you react

When stress levels rise, the body reacts instinctively—your heart rate increases, breathing becomes shallow, and adrenaline surges. This fight-or-flight response is helpful in emergencies but can be detrimental in daily interactions. Pausing to take a deep breath gives you a moment to regain control.

• Take a slow, deep breath in through your nose.
• Hold for a few seconds.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth.
• Repeat until you feel a sense of calm.

Deep breathing signals your nervous system to relax. It slows your heart rate, clears your mind, and helps you approach situations with clarity instead of reactivity.

2. Label the emotion

When emotions run high, they can feel overwhelming. However, research shows that simply naming an emotion shifts brain activity from the emotional centers to the logical, thinking part of the brain. This simple act diminishes the power of emotions over your decision-making process.

• Take a moment to identify what you’re feeling.
• Say it out loud or write it down: “I feel frustrated.” “I’m overwhelmed.” “I’m anxious.”
• Avoid exaggeration—be precise about the emotion without amplifying it.

Acknowledging emotions helps you gain perspective and prevents them from controlling your behavior. Once you name an emotion, you gain the ability to process it rationally.

3. Create a physical pause

Physical state impacts mental state. When emotions are heightened, physical tension builds up. A simple shift in body movement can disrupt an emotional spiral and bring immediate clarity.

• Stand up and stretch.
• Take a sip of water.
• Step outside for fresh air.
• Walk around the room or shake out tension.

A change in posture and movement resets the nervous system. Physical activity, even minor, signals to the brain that it’s time to regain balance, helping to release emotional tension.

4. Delay your response

Regret often comes from reacting too quickly in the heat of the moment. When emotions are high, the brain prioritizes speed over accuracy, which can lead to poor decision-making.

• Count to six before responding.
• If possible, step away from the situation before reacting.
• If you’re writing an email or text, wait before hitting send.
• Ask yourself: “Will I feel good about this response tomorrow?”

Waiting just a few seconds allows stress chemicals like cortisol to subside. This gives you the chance to choose a measured response rather than an emotional reaction.

5. Shift perspective

When emotions dominate, they create a narrow perspective. It becomes easy to assume the worst or overestimate the severity of a situation. Taking a step back and considering different viewpoints can provide valuable insight.

• Ask yourself, “How would I see this situation if I weren’t emotionally involved?”
• Consider how someone you respect would handle it.
• Imagine how this situation will feel in a week, a month, or a year.
• Focus on solutions rather than dwelling on the problem.

A broader perspective makes it easier to respond with wisdom rather than frustration. It also fosters problem-solving rather than emotional escalation.

6. Use self-talk to stay grounded

Your internal dialogue shapes your emotions and actions. Negative self-talk can amplify stress, while positive self-talk can calm and empower you.

• Replace “This is a disaster” with “I can handle this.”
• Instead of “I always mess up,” say “I’m learning and improving.”
• Shift from blame (“They’re trying to frustrate me”) to curiosity (“What can I learn from this situation?”).

Changing the narrative in your mind transforms how you feel and respond. Self-compassion and positive framing create a more controlled and productive state of mind.

7. Practice gratitude and perspective shifting

Stress narrows focus on the negative, making challenges feel overwhelming. Gratitude broadens perspective, reducing emotional intensity and fostering resilience.

• Name three things you’re grateful for in the moment.
• Reflect on past challenges you’ve overcome.
• Focus on what you can control rather than what you can’t.

A mindset of gratitude helps neutralize negative emotions and makes it easier to respond with patience and clarity.

8. Make emotional mastery a daily practice

Emotional control is not just for high-stress moments—it’s a skill that improves with practice. The more consistently you apply these techniques, the easier it becomes to stay in control.

• Set a daily intention to stay grounded.
• Reflect on moments where you reacted well and where you could improve.
• Engage in mindfulness, meditation, or journaling to build emotional awareness.

Regular practice turns emotional intelligence into a habit, leading to better decision-making, stronger relationships, and greater personal and professional success.

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Emotions are powerful, but they don’t have to take the driver’s seat. The ability to pause, process, and respond mindfully transforms the way you handle stress, conflict, and daily challenges. By breathing before reacting, labeling emotions, creating physical pauses, delaying responses, shifting perspective, using positive self-talk, practicing gratitude, and building emotional mastery, you reclaim control over your actions.

Don’t let emotions dictate your decisions. Learn to navigate them with wisdom. Remember: you are in control.