DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

The workplace is not just a place of productivity; it is a shared space where individuals bring their personal lives, experiences, and emotions, whether openly or subtly. One of the most profound and universal challenges that can touch a coworker’s life is the loss of a loved one. The aftermath of such loss—grief, adjustment, and the need to rebuild—is a delicate and deeply personal journey. For colleagues, managers, and organizations, understanding how to provide compassionate support during this time can make a significant difference.

Understanding the Impact of Personal Loss

Grief is a complex and nonlinear process that varies from person to person. It could stem from the loss of a family member, a close friend, or even a beloved pet. For the coworker experiencing such a loss, returning to work can feel both like a safe harbor and an overwhelming challenge. While some may find solace in routine and structure, others may struggle to concentrate, maintain energy, or engage with colleagues.

The impact of grief is not limited to emotional pain. It can manifest in physical symptoms such as fatigue, headaches, and insomnia, as well as cognitive effects like difficulty focusing or making decisions. Work, which often demands clarity and energy, can feel impossible to navigate during this time. Recognizing these potential struggles is the first step in being an empathetic and supportive coworker.

The Role of Empathy and Support in the Workplace

When a coworker experiences loss, the immediate response from colleagues can set the tone for their reintegration into the workplace. Simple gestures of kindness and acknowledgment can help them feel seen and supported. However, it’s equally important to respect their boundaries. Not everyone copes with loss in the same way, and some individuals may prefer privacy over open conversations.

Here are some key principles for offering support:

1. Acknowledge the Loss
   A heartfelt expression of condolence, such as, “I’m so sorry for your loss,” can go a long way. Even if you’re unsure of the right words, saying something simple and sincere is better than avoiding the topic altogether. Silence can sometimes be misinterpreted as indifference.
2. Offer Specific Help
   Instead of vague offers like “Let me know if you need anything,” suggest concrete ways you can assist. For example, “I can cover your tasks for the week” or “Would you like me to help with rescheduling meetings?” can be more actionable and meaningful.
3. Respect Their Pace
   Everyone grieves differently. Some coworkers may want to talk about their loss, while others may prefer to focus on their work as a distraction. Pay attention to their cues and follow their lead.
4. Check In Over Time
   The initial weeks after a loss are often when support is most abundant, but grief doesn’t follow a strict timeline. A simple check-in a few months down the line can remind your coworker that they are not alone.

Navigating the Process of Restarting

After experiencing a profound loss, restarting life—both personally and professionally—can feel daunting. For many people, the concept of “normal” shifts, and they must find a new balance between honoring their grief and re-engaging with daily responsibilities. As a coworker, understanding this transitional phase can help you provide meaningful support.

1. Returning to Work: The Balancing Act

When a coworker returns to work after a loss, their emotional and mental state may still be fragile. They might feel pressure to perform at the same level as before, even though their capacity might have changed temporarily. As a supportive colleague, you can help alleviate this pressure by fostering an environment of flexibility and understanding.

If you’re in a managerial role, consider the following accommodations:

• Allow for a phased return to work, such as part-time hours or remote work options.
• Reevaluate their workload and delegate tasks to ensure they are not overwhelmed.
• Encourage open communication about their needs and preferences during this transition.

For team members, small acts of kindness—offering to handle a task, sharing resources, or simply being available to listen—can make the process of restarting feel less overwhelming.

2. Rebuilding Confidence and Routine

Loss can often shake a person’s sense of stability and purpose. At work, this can translate into self-doubt, difficulty concentrating, or a lack of motivation. Helping a coworker rebuild their confidence starts with creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere.

One approach is to celebrate small wins. Acknowledge their contributions, no matter how minor they may seem, to reinforce their sense of value and capability. Additionally, encourage them to take breaks and prioritize self-care. Remind them that their well-being comes first and that work can adjust to their needs.

3. Creating a Culture of Compassion

Workplaces that prioritize mental health and emotional well-being create an environment where coworkers feel safe to express their needs. Implementing policies like bereavement leave, flexible scheduling, and access to counseling services can set the foundation for this culture.

As colleagues, practicing active listening and avoiding judgment are critical. Avoid minimizing their feelings with statements like “Time heals all wounds” or “At least they lived a long life.” Instead, focus on empathetic responses such as “I can only imagine how hard this must be for you” or “It’s okay to take your time.”

When a Coworker Begins to Thrive Again

Over time, with the right support, many individuals find ways to adapt to life after loss. This doesn’t mean the pain disappears—it simply becomes part of their story. Witnessing a coworker regain their confidence, laughter, and sense of purpose is a testament to resilience and the strength of human connection.

Celebrating milestones, both personal and professional, can be a meaningful way to show support. Whether it’s acknowledging their first major project after returning or simply noticing when they seem more like themselves, these moments of recognition can reinforce a sense of progress and renewal.

Lessons for Everyone: Building Empathy and Connection

The experience of supporting a coworker through loss teaches invaluable lessons about empathy, patience, and the importance of human connection. It reminds us that our colleagues are not just coworkers; they are individuals with rich, complex lives that extend beyond the office. By being present for someone during one of the most challenging times of their life, we contribute to a workplace culture that values humanity over productivity.

For organizations, this is an opportunity to reflect on how policies and practices can support employees during times of personal crisis. For individuals, it’s a chance to practice kindness and understanding, which are foundational to meaningful relationships.

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When a coworker experiences loss, the workplace becomes a microcosm of the broader human experience. It is a space where empathy, resilience, and community can shine, offering the support needed to help someone restart after grief. By fostering an environment of compassion, we not only help our coworkers heal but also strengthen the bonds that make workplaces thrive.