DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

Delivering negative feedback is one of the most challenging yet essential responsibilities of any manager. When done well, it can inspire growth, resolve performance issues, and strengthen relationships between managers and employees. However, when done poorly, negative feedback can demoralize employees, damage trust, and even lead to higher turnover rates.

Unfortunately, many managers unintentionally mishandle this delicate task. Whether it’s due to discomfort, lack of preparation, or ineffective communication strategies, these mistakes can undermine the very purpose of feedback: to help employees improve. Below, we’ll explore five common mistakes managers make when giving negative feedback and how to avoid them.

1. Delivering Feedback Without Preparation

One of the most common mistakes managers make is approaching feedback conversations unprepared. When managers give negative feedback on the fly, they risk coming across as vague, emotional, or overly critical. This can lead to confusion, defensiveness, or even resentment from the employee.

Why This Happens:

• The manager may feel uncomfortable with confrontation and rush through the conversation.
• They may lack clarity about the issue and struggle to articulate their concerns effectively.
• They may not have gathered enough specific examples to support their feedback.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

Preparation is key to delivering constructive feedback. Before the conversation, take time to:

• Define the Problem Clearly: Identify the specific behavior or performance issue you need to address.
• Gather Evidence: Collect concrete examples to illustrate the problem. For example, instead of saying, “You’re not meeting expectations,” you could say, “In the last two weeks, you missed three deadlines for Project X.”
• Consider the Desired Outcome: Think about what you want the employee to take away from the conversation and how you can support their improvement.

When you’re prepared, you’re more likely to communicate effectively, address the issue constructively, and avoid unnecessary conflict.

2. Focusing Only on the Problem, Not the Solution

Another mistake managers often make is spending too much time discussing what went wrong and not enough time exploring how to fix it. While it’s important to address the issue, dwelling solely on the problem can leave employees feeling criticized and demotivated.

Why This Happens:

• The manager might be frustrated and inadvertently emphasize the employee’s shortcomings.
• They might not have thought through potential solutions ahead of time.
• They might assume the employee knows how to fix the problem without explicitly discussing it.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

Balance your feedback by pairing criticism with actionable solutions. For example:

• State the Issue: Clearly explain the problem and its impact.
• Propose a Path Forward: Discuss specific steps the employee can take to improve.
• Collaborate on Solutions: Invite the employee to share their perspective and ideas for improvement.

For instance, instead of saying, “Your reports are always incomplete,” you could say, “I’ve noticed that the last few reports were missing key data points. Let’s go over the reporting template together to ensure you have all the resources you need to meet expectations.”

By focusing on solutions, you empower employees to take ownership of their growth and foster a sense of collaboration.

3. Using a Harsh or Dismissive Tone

The tone in which feedback is delivered can make or break the conversation. If managers come across as harsh, dismissive, or overly critical, employees are more likely to feel attacked and shut down emotionally. This can create a defensive or adversarial dynamic that hinders productive communication.

Why This Happens:

• The manager may be frustrated or under pressure and unintentionally let their emotions affect their tone.
• They may believe that being blunt or stern will “drive the message home.”
• They may lack training in emotional intelligence or empathetic communication.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

Adopt a tone that is respectful, empathetic, and focused on growth. To do this:

• Stay Calm and Professional: Even if you’re frustrated, take a moment to center yourself before the conversation. Avoid raising your voice, using accusatory language, or displaying impatience.
• Use “I” Statements: Frame your feedback in a way that focuses on observations rather than judgments. For example, say, “I’ve noticed that deadlines are being missed,” instead of, “You’re always late with your work.”
• Express Empathy: Acknowledge the employee’s perspective and emotions. For example, “I understand this has been a challenging project, and I appreciate your effort so far.”

Remember, the goal of feedback is not to criticize but to encourage growth. A constructive tone can make the conversation more productive and maintain a positive working relationship.

4. Delivering Feedback in Public

Providing negative feedback in front of others is one of the most damaging mistakes a manager can make. Public criticism can humiliate employees, damage their confidence, and create a culture of fear or resentment within the team.

Why This Happens:

• The manager may think addressing the issue immediately is more efficient, even if others are present.
• They may use public criticism as a way to set an example for the rest of the team.
• They may not realize the emotional impact public feedback can have on the individual.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

Always deliver negative feedback in private, where the employee feels safe to discuss the issue openly. To ensure privacy:

• Schedule a One-on-One Meeting: Set aside dedicated time to address the issue. Avoid bringing it up casually in group settings or during team meetings.
• Choose an Appropriate Setting: Use a private office or meeting room where the conversation won’t be overheard.

Providing feedback in a private and respectful manner shows that you value the employee’s dignity and fosters a more open dialogue.

5. Failing to Follow Up

Many managers make the mistake of treating negative feedback as a one-time event. They deliver the feedback and move on, assuming the issue has been resolved. However, without follow-up, employees may feel unsupported or unclear about their progress, leading to recurring problems or unresolved concerns.

Why This Happens:

• The manager may assume the employee understands the feedback and will implement changes independently.
• They may prioritize other tasks and forget to check in.
• They may feel uncomfortable revisiting the issue.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

Effective feedback doesn’t end with the initial conversation—it requires ongoing support and follow-up. Here’s how to do it:

• Set Clear Expectations: During the feedback conversation, agree on specific goals and timelines for improvement. For example, “Let’s aim to see consistent improvement in your response times over the next month.”
• Check In Regularly: Schedule follow-up meetings to discuss progress, provide additional support, and celebrate improvements.
• Offer Continued Support: Ask the employee what resources or guidance they need to succeed.

Following up reinforces the importance of the feedback and shows that you are invested in the employee’s growth.

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The Art of Giving Effective Feedback

Giving negative feedback is a skill that requires preparation, empathy, and a commitment to fostering growth. By avoiding these common mistakes—failing to prepare, focusing only on problems, using a harsh tone, delivering feedback publicly, and neglecting follow-up—you can transform feedback conversations into opportunities for learning and improvement.

When managers approach feedback with care and intention, they not only address performance issues but also build trust, strengthen relationships, and create a culture of continuous growth. By doing so, they set the stage for both individual and organizational success.