DREIESKIVA​|Roald Kvam

What if true personal growth isn’t all about forcing ourselves to become better or more evolved? What if it’s more about shedding old behaviors, releasing ingrained patterns, and allowing ourselves to simply be? As we let go of rigid, habitual reactions, we naturally ascend through different levels of self-awareness and personal development. This journey doesn’t require us to do anything specific to move forward. Rather, it’s a process of unraveling outdated behaviors and allowing our authentic selves to emerge.

Each level of growth comes with its own challenges, often revealing issues that may have held us back. By confronting and working through these issues, we achieve deeper transformation. This approach is rooted in self-awareness and acceptance, which enables us to experience old, ingrained emotions fully and mindfully. When we stop «doing» our personality – when we no longer identify with old habits – our state changes, and we become different people, often in subtle yet profound ways.

Letting Go

Many approaches to personal growth emphasize active improvement, such as setting goals, practicing discipline, and adhering to routines. While these are helpful tools, they can inadvertently lead to a fixation on self-improvement…

Genuine transformation, however, is more about releasing than attaining. The more we let go of conditioned behaviors and limiting beliefs, the more we uncover our true selves and open ourselves to change.

Think of it as an onion, where each layer represents old habits, fears, or insecurities. As we peel away these layers, we get closer to our core. This process is often described as «working through» issues, where instead of trying to suppress or avoid difficulties, we observe and experience them fully. By allowing ourselves to feel these emotions without judgment or resistance, we prevent them from controlling our lives, making way for lasting change.

The Importance of Awareness

«Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.» – Carl Jung

This insight of Jung highlights the importance of becoming aware of deep-seated behaviors and motivations, as they often shape our experiences and responses. Awareness enables us to see our patterns without being ruled by them. At each level of growth, this awareness is key:

Awareness allows us to identify what needs to be released and helps us approach issues with curiosity rather than judgment.

By recognizing our automatic responses and familiar behaviors, we become conscious of how they impact our lives. For instance, if we tend to react defensively in certain situations, awareness of this pattern allows us to choose a different response. As we gradually shift our reactions, the old pattern loses its grip, and we experience the world in new ways.

Moving Up

To reach higher levels of awareness, it’s essential to shed what no longer serves us. This process doesn’t mean ignoring or pushing away challenges; it involves fully experiencing them, understanding where they come from, and allowing them to pass naturally.

Consider the following steps in letting go as a way to elevate:

Acknowledging Old Patterns: Begin by identifying recurring thoughts, emotions, or behaviors. Notice when you feel compelled to respond in a particular way, and ask yourself why. Recognizing these patterns helps create a gap between stimulus and response, giving you the space to choose a different action.

Releasing Identification with Personality: Much of what we perceive as «our personality» is shaped by past experiences, societal expectations, and habitual responses. Moving forward means loosening this identification and allowing yourself to evolve. Instead of saying, «That’s just how I am,» be open to change by observing yourself with fresh eyes.

Fully Experiencing Emotions: Personal growth often brings up difficult emotions like anger, shame, or fear. Rather than trying to suppress them, lean into these feelings.

By fully experiencing and observing emotions without judgment, you give yourself the chance to release them and prevent them from holding you back.

Practicing Self-Compassion: Transformation isn’t always easy, and setbacks are natural. Self-compassion allows us to approach our journey with kindness and patience, accepting where we are rather than criticizing ourselves for not progressing faster.

The Power of «Non-Doing»

Personal transformation can feel like an active journey, but much of it involves the art of «non-doing» or allowing things to unfold naturally. The Taoist concept of «Wu Wei,» or effortless action, aligns with this approach, suggesting that the more we allow things to flow, the more authentic our growth becomes.

As we release attachment to old behaviors and stop forcing ourselves into rigid goals, we begin to act from a place of spontaneity, intuition, and authenticity. This doesn’t mean being passive; rather, it involves acting in harmony with one’s core. When old habits no longer dominate, our choices become clearer, and we act in ways that align with our core values rather than societal expectations or outdated personal narratives.

Practical Steps for «Working Through» Issues

«Working through» our issues at each level of growth requires mindful presence and acceptance. Here are a few ways to practice this approach:

Daily Reflection: Set aside time each day to reflect on your reactions, emotions, and thoughts. Ask yourself if these responses align with your values or if they come from old, habitual patterns. This daily reflection helps build awareness of unconscious behaviors.

Mindfulness Meditation: Meditation can help cultivate the ability to observe thoughts and emotions without being consumed by them. Regular practice allows us to develop a non-judgmental awareness, helping us experience each emotion fully and let it go naturally.

Keep it simple! Light a candle – and pause.

Body Awareness: Our bodies often hold onto past traumas and emotions, which can manifest as physical tension or discomfort. Paying attention to sensations and breathing into areas of tension can release these trapped emotions, allowing for mental and physical relaxation.

Journaling: Writing down your experiences, thoughts, and feelings can help bring clarity to underlying patterns and provide insight into what you’re holding onto. Journaling offers a safe space to explore these aspects of yourself, aiding in the release process.

Acceptance of Discomfort: Growth often involves discomfort. When we confront old patterns, the process can feel unsettling. Embracing this discomfort as part of the journey helps ease resistance and allows transformation to happen more naturally.

Becoming Who We Are

As we move up through the levels of self-awareness, we find that personal transformation is less about doing and more about being. By letting go of old patterns and no longer identifying with outdated aspects of our personality, we naturally elevate to a higher state of awareness. This shift is subtle yet powerful, creating lasting change that aligns with our deepest values.

Ultimately, personal growth is a journey of self-discovery, release, and authentic becoming.

Each time we let go of an old habit or belief, we make room for a new way of being. We stop reacting out of past conditioning and begin to respond from a place of genuine insight, empathy, and connection.

In this way, true transformation is less about changing who we are and more about revealing the best version of ourselves that’s been there all along.